Parenting Advice by Narayana Murthy - Sparks Outrage On Social Media

Narayana Murthy's recent parenting advice, advocating for hours of daily involvement with children, has sparked debate and social media trolling. Is it a call for discipline or an unrealistic expectation?

At an event in Bengaluru on September 9, Narayana Murthy shared his perspective on the importance of parental involvement in children's education, sparking a lively debate. Speaking at the launch of the 13th edition of Paul Hewitt’s Conceptual Physics, Murthy emphasized the importance of parents setting a good example by dedicating time to learning alongside their children. Reflecting on his own experience, he recounted how he and his wife, Sudha Murty, would each spend more than three and a half hours reading with their children, during their schooling days. “If I am watching TV, I cannot tell my children to study,” said Murthy, recalling Sudha Murty’s approach to developing discipline in their household.

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However, his remarks, particularly the suggestion that parents should spend three to four hours daily with their children, were met with mixed reactions, with many social media users criticizing his views as out of touch with the realities of modern life. This brings to light the pressing question: In today’s fast-paced urban environment, is this level of parental involvement realistic, or even feasible?

The Modern Urban Parent's Reality

For many parents, especially in urban settings, Murthy's suggestion might appear idealistic. A significant proportion of working parents in cities like Bengaluru, Pune, Mumbai and most of the urban pockets are juggling demanding jobs with long hours, lengthy commutes, and high levels of stress. With worsening road conditions and relentless traffic struggles, many parents leave home as early as 7 or 8 AM and don’t return until 7 or 8 PM, often drained of energy. By the time they get home, they have little bandwidth left for engaging with their children in any meaningful way, let alone dedicating three to four hours to study together.

Adding to the strain is the rising cost of education, with private schools in urban areas charging exorbitant fees. Many parents feel pressured to work harder just to provide their children with the best possible schooling, contributing to an ongoing cycle of financial and emotional stress. The need to secure a stable future for their children often takes priority over personal leisure, leaving parents with little choice but to sacrifice their own downtime. Thus, Murthy’s suggestion to “sacrifice TV time”, or in today’s context, screen time, might not resonate with parents who already feel they have little time left to give up.

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Challenges in Achieving a Balanced Lifestyle

Balancing work, family, and personal life is becoming increasingly difficult for many urban families. In such environments, parents often face a dilemma, they must prioritize providing for their children's education and wellbeing, but that often comes at the cost of time spent with them. Moreover, the guilt that stems from not being able to meet both financial and emotional demands can be overwhelming.

Murthy’s point, however, raises an important question? Is there a middle ground where parents can create a supportive, disciplined environment without the unrealistic expectation of dedicating several hours a day? Perhaps the issue is less about the number of hours spent and more about the quality of time and engagement with children.

A Balanced Approach to Parenting

It raises an important question? Is there a middle ground where parents can create a supportive, disciplined environment without the unrealistic expectation of dedicating several hours a day? Perhaps the issue is less about the number of hours spent and more about the quality of time and engagement with children.

However, today’s parents, especially those in high-pressure jobs, might need to adapt this principle to their own circumstances. A more balanced approach could involve setting aside smaller, consistent periods of time each day for focused interaction with children — whether through helping with homework, reading together, or simply discussing the day’s learnings. Even small but meaningful gestures, such as talking about books or taking an interest in schoolwork during dinner, can contribute to an atmosphere of learning.

Technology can also play a role. While Murthy advised against distractions like TV, today’s digital tools, educational apps, online resources, or family-friendly podcasts can help parents engage with their children without needing to sit down with textbooks for hours at a time.

Social Media Reactions- Unrealistic or Valuable?

Murthy’s comments were quickly mocked on social media platforms like X (formerly Twitter), with many users pointing out that his perspective doesn’t account for the realities of parents who must work long hours. Yet, while some criticism may be valid, it’s essential to recognize that his advice was likely intended as a guiding principle, rather than a strict mandate. His overarching message — that parents must be involved and disciplined to set a good example for their children — still holds value, even if the specific time frame he suggests may not be practical for everyone.

In the end, Murthy’s remarks remind us that parents play a critical role in shaping their children’s futures, not only through the financial and material support they provide but also through the behaviors and habits they model. While the challenges of modern urban life may make it difficult for parents to spend hours each day with their children, prioritizing consistent, high-quality engagement can still make a significant difference.

Narayana Murthy’s advice for parents to spend three to four hours a day with their children has stirred debate about the expectations placed on parents in today’s demanding world. While his message of discipline and shared learning is valuable, the reality of urban life with its long working hours, stressful commutes, and high cost of living makes such a commitment difficult for many. A more balanced approach, where parents focus on the quality of time spent with their children, may be a more practical solution for fostering an environment of discipline and support in modern families. Ultimately, it’s about finding ways to stay involved in meaningful ways, even within the constraints of a busy lifestyle.

While the challenges of modern urban life may make it difficult for parents to spend hours each day with their children, prioritizing consistent, high-quality engagement can still make a significant difference.

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