Board exams are the toughest time a child faces in crossing and building flashy milestones and reputation in a lifetime. There are many different messages that we receive from children and parents during this time on NexSchools. But the message that I am sharing with you today is common and all of us, as parents face it every day. Take a sneak peek into the problem of a student and why parents need to shower their love on their children a little differently in the digital parenting age.
This a real message from the student sitting for the board exams
“I checked my WahtsApp every half an hour to see if I missed a message from class group, I checked my Instagram account to see if I missed the photos or story from my friends and my favorite rock band and artist I followed and newsfeed from Facebook that showed beautiful pictures - from a trip to Bali, showing tranquil beaches, the best of the Italian food neatly kept on the table and photos after photos and then a trending song and…. I was updated with everything”
As my exams approached my smartphone was taken away by my parents and now they are not returning it. I feel bad and worst these days, the boring room with books on the table, I just hate it.
Oh My God! these exams are killing my life and taking away all the fun and my colorful life on that glowing colorful small screen, those likes, comments, and memes have all become black & white with those textbooks and sample papers."
Another child writes, "I was secretely watching TV from the other room and here my Dad goes shouting out loud scaring me to the death. I study 8 hours in a day and then going to coaching again to take tests, how much should I study to satisfy my parents."
Does your child feel the same, does it sound like a familiar story? Have you taken his phone or told him to take sabbatical completely till the exams are over? It is the first mistake you have made, it is a habit that your child has developed over a period of time. How do you expect it to change in the moment & when you decided for him/her in flick of a moment not your child?
So give the phone back for a limited time with strictly following the time boundary that has been set. For a long time your child is habitual of communicating with friends and world through small screen called smartphone, seeing the colorful world and experiencing the things you don’t know about probably. It includes most of the time when your child wanted to say or share something with you but as a parent you were busy as usual. Allowing your child a little time in a day would help in concentrating well and studying in a better way.
It is the best time to take care of your child with a touch of warmth and comfort. How you communicate and what you say today will build self-efficacy and confidence. These moments of unconditional love will be the foundation of bonding between you and your child for lifelong.
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Besides, keep these 5 DON’Ts in mind:
1. Do not lecture
2. Do not expect them to be locked in one room
3. Do not make your child’s break time their reminder break with a long list of to dos
4. Do not micromanage your child’s time give him/her freedom
5. Do not place your expectations
Exams are very close do not lecture them to sit on the study table the whole day, let them stroll around in the house and study. Let them find a cozy space to gobble all that has been said and learned in school and tuitions.
When your child studies for one hour or two hours in a stretch and wants to take a break do not give a long list of reminders just let them relax with soothing music, crack a joke, talk about something positive happening around.
Make your child’s study break fun break so that they can relax, let them do what they want to do and for God's sake do not micromanage their time.
It seems children are more worried about "what will my parents say?" if I get less marks. Your child already knows by now how much they are expecting in the board exams therefore, having unrealistic expectations from you can break yourself and your child emotionally. Recent study already shows about two-third students reported or about 66% of students said pressure from parents for better academic performance being the major cause of stress and also the major cause of suicide among children in India; so save yourself and your child of being a victim of epidemic of exam results.
You can pour in all your motherly love in cooking, so instead of worrying cook & cook lots of your child’s favorite food that will fill his/her palette to heart’s content. Show your care by offering your child juices and soups; it will keep the body well hydratedand maintiaing low levels of stress.
You love your child and want the best for him or her. After all, what we want and need as parents is to lay the foundation for success. Avoiding the common mistakes that number of parents make is one of the keys to your child’s success.
Write to us if you are also struggling with some questions. Thank you for stopping by. Do share your thoughts and comment below, it always lifts my spirits to hear from you.
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